I'm going to be a terrible mother!

I took Jack to get fixed on Monday, and they told me to leave the e-collar (the big cone shaped collar) on him to keep him from licking to wound open. Well, I felt so bad for him wearing the collar. He would bulldoze into things, and when he tried to lay down, he couldn't put his head down. I took if off of him and insisted I would watch him. He was pretty good when I was watching him. But I guess when we weren't watching, he licked it open. It wasn't bleeding or anything, but I had to take him back to the vet first thing Tuesday morning. When I got to the vet they yelled at me for not keeping the collar on him. This time, instead of just glueing the incision, they stapled it too. I took him home and watched him all day and I decided to let him sleep without the collar again, because I was worried he wouldn't be able to sleep with it. When I got up this morning, the incision seemed fine, but I didn't look real close. I kept him in with me most of the day and he just slept. I never saw him lick once. Then I let him outside for a little while. Well, I got to playing with old school pictures on facebook, and totally forgot about Jack being outside with Rocky unsupervised with no collar. I let him back in the house, and I check the incision. It's opened again. The staples were still there, but they no longer held anything together. I was so embarrassed to take him back to the vet. It was all my fault! I put his e-collar back on, took him to the vet, and left him there for the afternoon. Atleast I was able to run some errands without worrying about watching him. Well, tonight, he's wearing that damn collar! He'll figure out a way to sleep.